His Grace in Me

This post might look so problematic but how much more its writer. I'm having a hard time settling things. And when I digest it? It's so painful. When my brain tries to toil for it, it's excruciating. This is really hard and that is why I am letting it out as my finger slides and types the needed keys on my keyboard right now.  In my first facebook account, I have 4,223 friends, in my second and private account I have 184. I also have 142 twitter followers and 495 instagram followers but why among these numbers I felt so alone? Seriously, the numbers are nothing but trash. They don't matter, aw sorry. I don't matter at all.  Too bad, this is what i'm feeling.  With regards to this, I've decided to just stay silent, to be on my own, to be there at one corner. I feel so vulnerable and weak. And then I'll cry. This was the only time in my life that I am so fragile and no matter how I push myself to be strong, I always find myself holding my own...

'Twas a roll and twist of days, and my 2017 was indeed tough and hard for me. That year made me so strong until God has allowed me to finally took my place, and I flourished. I graduated, became an engineer, had a wonderful job, and I was so happy and thankful.  I was indeed overwhelmed with joy. I really wished 2017 won't end because there was a part of me that is afraid of what's gonna happen in 2018. I guess, my nerves and cells are too sensitive for the coming days and I wasn't wrong.  Mama and I are finally together after years of being so distant from each other. I can finally bring her to beautiful places, bring her to those restaurants and try different dishes that she haven't tasted before, buy her many clothes and sandals and most of all we will be able to celebrate special days together. Aren't those things beautiful to think and desire about?  My heart is filled with hope for such things, even my mind is escalating in faith for better da...

We meet people at the crossroads of our lives. Some will just nod and smile, most will just pass you by but there is that someone who will stay to look at you and seems like days were rolling at your midst and you both shared the joy of friendship. Ang bilis lang ng panahon. I could still remember how everything was just so simple yet special for the two of us hanggang sa kelangan ng mag-iba ang lahat, because it wasn't about friendship anymore. We did stepped up to another level. We decided to love each other. Wow! What was that? I never thought it would be possible, but it was! We were so happy. Time was really for us, before. Seems like the winds waved with us and blew us the scheme of memories filled with serinity and happiness. Ang ganda naman kasi talaga noon. Not until, complications rushed our way! But still, we fought for it. Because we both love each other. We didn't want to throw everything without giving the situations a goddamn fight. But w...

My mind seems to wonder, it flies and speaks of a thousand tries .. Well, let me say this so. Life is the most wonderful creation God has ever created.  I can't say that I have the most out of it. In fact, I found mine as something shattered in pieces. My family is not complete. We are not rich. I grew up through pains and difficulties of this life. My childhood was filled with questions and insecurities. I felt that for me to be noticed, I have to work hard with so much effort. I don't see myself as someone beautiful, and the bonus is, I am not that kind. I am most of the time selfish.  I can't see the beauty in me, seriously! But, when I found none of it to myself, God found it. HE NOTICED ME. And I learned that He's always looking at me, that I am the apple of His eyes. He saw a "wonderful future" in me that needs to be shaped. HE BELIEVES IN ME! And it is all through Him that step by step, I learned to have confidence in this life. I ...