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Mood!


This post might look so problematic but how much more its writer. I'm having a hard time settling things. And when I digest it? It's so painful. When my brain tries to toil for it, it's excruciating. This is really hard and that is why I am letting it out as my finger slides and types the needed keys on my keyboard right now. 

In my first facebook account, I have 4,223 friends, in my second and private account I have 184. I also have 142 twitter followers and 495 instagram followers but why among these numbers I felt so alone? Seriously, the numbers are nothing but trash. They don't matter, aw sorry. I don't matter at all. 
Too bad, this is what i'm feeling. 

With regards to this, I've decided to just stay silent, to be on my own, to be there at one corner. I feel so vulnerable and weak. And then I'll cry. This was the only time in my life that I am so fragile and no matter how I push myself to be strong, I always find myself holding my own hand or hugging my pillow with my heart silently talking to God. 

At some point, I realized not everybody will care for you. You are blessed if you'll have tens from thousands. I figured it out. Numbers are just figures, it doesn't define the true people who looks at you. I just know right now, "sino pa ang pahahalagahan ko". 

I'm very thankful to those few people who never left, who never stops to encourage, who never breaks their support and who keeps on praying for me and my mom everyday. Hugs!!! 

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